ON CLOUD NINE

Married 10/02/2011 in a garden party

 
Hello everyone. I am back with the best news...I am now married to a wonderful Filipina from Davau City, Mindanao Philippines. She was my 8th fiance in this sequence (who's counting?).

Frankly after Noemi scammed me for over $5000 USD, I had had it with Russians and Ukranians and ladies from the Philippines.

However Cherryly Llego, the third Fillipina that I encountered is now the center of my life...my raison d'etre as the French say.

So how did I end up married and seriously HAPPY!!!???

What's the old saying? Burn me once but never twice...well I got burnt (time, money, feelings all were almost depleted) seven times searching the world for a wife.

I THINK I HAVE A WIFE COMING

I have decided to try to bring Noemi Bacanto here on a 90 day fiance visa. She is the one on the your left, the one without sun glasses. . She is the other lady I was with every day during my stay in Manila, part of the threesome. She was Juliet's best Friend. She functioned as a translator and facilitator for Juliet and me. Juliet at 22, was not for me, but Noemi at 32 seems to like me and want desperately to come to the USA.

I decided on Noemi after I returned to California. I had had her evict her best friend Juliet from my hotel room because of sexual inactivity. Juliet promised wonderful fantasies after she arrived in California...but not here. So out she went.


Sitting in a bar with Noemi in a strictly platonic relationship, she professed to be in love with my brother Michael, whom she had met previously. However, Noemi told me she was ready to be married and asked me to find her a husband in America if Michael did not choose her. I wrote Michael and he told me to marry her myself.

Of course as soon as I mentioned marriage to Noemi, she immediately needed money for medical emergencies. This rang an ugly bell. I have been engaged to other women and money is the goal. I think that half the young ladies running around Manila want money and not a husband.. Of course 90% of the Americans walking around there only want sex. I want a wife.

So I would say it is even money that Noemi will ever show up. We are already having problems. She is supposed to FedEx me some documents I need from her to file my petition for a fiance visa . So far after receiving money from me, she has been unable to get to the FedEx office because; 1. she was having lunch with her cousin, 2. another day, it was raining too hard, 3. another day she had a fever from the rain and on and on...interspersed with me sending her money.

Well, dear reader, I guess I make it difficult for these women to act honorably. I mean I send her money when she tells me she needs money but she would never ask me. If she can overcome my largess and try to get here that will impress me.
We shall see.

UPON FURTHER REFLECTION, I HAD THE GREATEST TIME IN MANILA

I loved the place. I can't wait to go back.

Yes. It's steamy hot climate, like a sauna, very hard to run.

And yes, it is true that my fiance, Juliet, was the opposite of the weather. She, the reason for the trip, proved to be not ready for a serious relationship.......at least not with me.

After I threw her out, I discovered further evidence of treachery; On my second day , we three, Juliet, Noemi, and I, were at the internet cafe, Unbeknownst to me, Juliet was flirting and eventually exchanging phone numbers with a guy seated near us. He was at a nearby hotel. This was a despicable act...right under my big nose.

As abstinence inexorably eroded my good feelings and sleep, I spent the wee hours of one night throwing back copious amounts of vodka a la Rick in Casablanca. I sat downstairs on the balcony while the hotel staff, some of whom are now life-long friends, commiserated with me.

The good news? There is much to report.
1. I saw many, many older American men with beautiful young Filipino dolls. The thing is these guys were homely, unattractive dudes. I look like Errol Flynn next to that crowd.

2. There are many beautiful ladies there, readily available for anything, including, maybe, marriage. A native man showed me where 32 women live who work in the mall across from my hotel, the Eurotel. I met two women, I liked Christina a lot. Fred said, "These girls will go to your room and do anything you want."

I have other strong possibilties, potential wives with whom I am in contact. I ran out of time having spent 5 of my seven available nights with Juliet.

3. I saw a sign in the health section of the mall; a face lift for $1500 American. Wow. A neck tuck in Beverley Hills was $6850.

4. Somehow I see myself as a character in a movie, so I play to the camera. In Manila, I walk around towering over everyone. I am wearing an imaginary pith helmet. (wrong country?) Everyone comes up to my ribs.

I have to summarize my seven days, The last two days without Juliet I was out trolling, or is it trawling? More to come.....

CURSES! FOILED AGAIN!

I threw my fiance, Juliet, out today. I dispatched her back to her squalor existence. We never could get together. Along with the fact that she lied to me when we chatted on line about her height ( she wrote she was 5' 4. She is 5 even),her mastery of English, (she wrote she was fluent...not close)...along with that and other untruths, she is, I THINK THE TERM IS frigid.

She was three years since her last sex act with a man who "only wanted her for sex." above is a photo of how she sleeps every night. Under the sheet which is over her head, she is fully clothed.
The one time out of 5 nights we had sex, she was talked into it by her best friend Noemi who originally brought us together.. I was hanging out with both girls because Noemi could translate and intermediate. Noemi is in love with my brother, Michael. She is quite mature and intelligent, of course she would look good next to Juliet.

I spent the fourth night here night siting downstairs on the hotel porch drinking vodka until 4:30 in the morning while Juliet (who was "tired") needed to sleep upstairs in the room.

I think Juliet is mentally not in the real world. She acted like a child, spoiled and emotionally unstable. Of course that was never a problem. The problem was that she would only have sex when we got to California. Here in Manila she would have sex only once a week AS SHE MENTALLY GRITS HER TEETH.
And we had our weekly allotment the second night in bed together...first, third, fourth and fifth nights we abstained ..she was tired or did she say it was a headache?
Frankly, dear reader, the sex act with this 23 year old lady with a fabulous body even after years of no sexual partner, was less exciting than 90% of my self sexual activities.

After four out of five nights of only sleeping, no sex, I had Noemi tell her to leave.



I tried hard with her. The last day together after an evening of argument because< "All I want from her is sex." An argument that required Noemi to show up at the room at 1;30am to figure out what was being said.
The next day I took Juliet, her sister, her nephew (a 4 year old) and Noemi to a large mall for food and walking around as displayed in the photo. That night, she told Noemi that she was tired. This being the fifth night together with only sex on the second night, I'd had it. I was back drinking vodka, trying to pass out into oblivion in order to allow my former bride to be to sleep in peace.

I disappeared this morning while Noemi gave Juliet the news to scram. Juliet cried hard. But then she asked Noemi if I still was going to file for the fiance visa and bring her to California. We were headed in that direction. She had lost her passport. I paid 4500 pesos (about $90)extra to expedite the replacement delivery from three months to eight days so we would be together as soon as possible. .

Good bye romance. Welcome back heart ache. I have only two nights left here. I sent an email to two girls with my cell phone number here hopefully one will call me in time.

I also met a guy, Tom, staying at the same hotel. He is from NYC. He has a company that does security for famous people. We are going golfing tomorrow. He is 45 and had banged 6 women in 8 days and paid no one. He chats with them, tells them he is from NYC. They tell him they are from Manila. Then he says, "Hey I am in Manila. Let's meet for a drink."

I am cursed thus far in all corners of the globe. Will this stop me?????? Never

I see many uglier than I Americans here entering the hotel with beautiful young natives. One bald headed, gnome-like looking guy walked in with two indigenous ladies. I'm the only one not getting laid in the Eurotel. This was confirmed by the midnight shift staff that I sat with drinking, waiting for sun to come up. The staff appropriately did not drink vodka with me. They drink juice only. I had a great time entertaining them while they commiserated with me.

BINGO! HOME RUN! A GRAND SALAMI

Well dear reader, it took four years and after trying in four different countries. Kenya, Russia, Ukraine and the good ole USA, but it finally happened; I had sexual activity with the little lady in the picture. She, incidentally, has a perfect body. Perfect for what? Perfect for looking at, perfect for becoming inspired to reach new licentious levels, hitherto unreachable.

In other words, we did it. I discussed it with her through her friend and our interpreter, Noemi, and I proceeded to treat her "Lke a virgin...for the very first time." (Madonna)

At the end of the act, after I moaned and groaned, she asked me in good English, "Are you finished?"

"Yes," I whispered."
And she bounced out of bed and took a shower, She came back to bed fully covered top to bottom. I, of course am naked.
So am I in love? I don't think so. As we were doing it, to inspire myself onward, I had to keep reminding myself that I am making love with a beautiful, willing woman forty-six years younger than I. It was an experience, but nowhere near earth shaking.
Today, Jukiet went alone to try to get a replacement passport. While she was done, Fred, one of the hotel employees took me to meet ywo twenty year old girls who work in the mall with nhis wife. For twenty dollars each They will come to my hotel room and do anything I want, The girls smiled and nodded. I told him I would give them $60.00 but I did not want them now...possibly later.
I asked if they would go with any man with money. No Fred said they only go with me. And he has many more to choose from.

A pimp? And working girls? I felt sorry for the girls, gave Fred the money and left.

Maybe...who knows?

FIRST NIGHT IN MANILA

After twenty-two brutal hours of traveling, I pulled into Manila to meet my inamorata, Juliet Madaham.
It was hot and humid. After a sweaty search of a airport, I located Juliet. She was with her best friend, Noemi. Noemi actually, through my brother, Michael is the one who set me up with twenty-three year old Juliet. Noemi at age thirty is desperately in love with my brother
and I think she feels that if Juliet and I proceed to marriage, Juliet will have some contact with Michael.At the first meeting I suffered a two slight disappointments; one, she told me she was 5 foot 4 and she is not, and much more seriously, two; after all the lovey dovey crap dished while we were instant messaging, when I leaned over for a small hello kiss she turned her head and offered me her cheek!!!Ouch. That was a sign of the next disappointment.
So the threesome headed for the Eurotel to check in. Juliet had reserved us a room for $48 per night/ The room was small with no windows, but the management is wonderful and they put us in a larger room with a window at the same price.

OK, well it turns out that Juliet does not understand spoken English. She can read it with the aid of a dictionary or she just agrees with whatever with an "OK darling."

Finally bed time came and her friend Noemi, advised me that Juliet was afraid of me.
So I when we were in bed I asked her if indeed she was afraid to make love with me. She did keep looking at my big size 15 feet. She said yes and I said that I would never force myself on her. Therefore a difficult, frustrating night was spent in bed doing nothing.

At that point I decided to get the fuck out of there, but I didn't. Why not? Because Noemi explained to me that Juliet never understood what I was saying but with her functioning as an adviser and interpreter, Juliet and I are to possibly have sex tonight. Basically I did what all men do,I talked nyself into yhe chance of a possible sex act with a somewhat convinced young lady.

It never hurt to see that she has a great body and am exciting butt, but if I cannot communicate with her...no sex. So Noemi was critical as Juliet and I agreed to try again tonight.

Juliet has not had sex for three years. Her old Philippine boyfriend was small. To her I am a giant. I can see that she is young and uninformed. That does not interest ,me but once again I find a song lyric that says it all: "I might like you better if we slept together."

Right now I am at the internet cafe. Juliet went home by train to get something so we can go to the embassy tomorrow morning. She is supposed to be back in an hour and surrender herself to the exchange of bodily fluids with me.

It's already been seventy minutes. Will she show up or does she feel like Sidney Carton heading for the guillotine? He showed up.

We shall see and you all will know the results...if any.

NOW I IHEAD TO MANILA

Well I leave for LAX in three hours for a midnight flight. This is the first time I’ve ever flown a red eye. It’s no so bad. I had all day to pack, clean my apt., run, eat, repack and now I am emailing you all.

It is a fourteen hour flight to Seoul. After a 4 four hour lay over, it’s four hour to Manila were the odds are strong that Juliet will be at the airport in a black dress with a striped handbag. .
Of course I was 100 per cent sure that Svetlana, a thirty-two year old “virgin” from Lugansk would meet me last January in Kiev…and she did …but an hour later she was Ukrainian history. Frankly my past efforts chasing for a foreign wife have made me circumspect. However, I am ready for another plucking…no doubt about that.

I plan to change in Korea into something that Juliet will flip over…mind heart and legs akimbo. Brother Mike tells me that for the most part, the guys searching for love in the Philippines are lacking all semblances of physical beauty. Well I look good from a distance.

Whatever, I am nervous, almost like before a football game. I have a slight case of the butterflies. The thing is I am enjoying my reaction. I am enjoying my adventure and I haven’t left yet. I’ll do comedy at the Korean terminal. I use my marathon picture with the “I THOUGHT THEY SAID RUM” shirt to break the ice and get a good seat assignment,

I am bringing my camera and a gadget that will allow me to upload to the computers at the internet café.
That is Juliet. She twenty-three, 5 ft 4 inches, 105 pounds, never married, no kids. She is a singer/waitress. She sings in a band and I play guitar and piano. Sounds Good? Well she only sings Japanese songs. She doesn't know any English songs.
She is meeting me at the airport. We are madly, desperately in love. Of coarse we have yet to meet in real life. I love those tall Eastern European blondes, but I have struck out with four of them.

I am off to Manila and Juliet