My Date With the Once Lovely Olga: A Bummer

When I was younger it seemed that the greater the anticipation for an upcoming event the lesser I enjoyed it. I would hear about a wonderful movie, but after seeing it I would be somewhat disappointed. As I matured (only chronologically)I tried to enjoy everything and was successful in finding pleasure in some part of any event.

Cut to the present: It was my first date with a Kiev woman. The Ukrainian restaurant where we ate at was worthwhile. It was located floating on the river.
We did have a nice dinner. We ate Ukrainian (I passed on the borscht). The restaurant was quaint with live folk music, authentic and quite nice except for the Ukrainian flies that insisted on participating.

I want to be fair here. At least I had the experience from which I will learn. I must improve my selection process and my technique. (whatever that means).

Okay. She was unrecognizable from her picture. She rarely smiled, perhaps she was disappointed in me who kept checking out her ankles? Or perhaps it was the slight gap between her front teeth?
No, the main problem was that she spoke leettle English and understood less.

We met at the central post office in the center. There were three other guys waiting around with flowers in hand to meet their dates.
I was dressed in a suit, no flowers but plenty of perspiration in the 33 degree heat, centigrade.
She asked me to speak slowly and loud. I acquiesced to 50% of that.
I was operating on the theory that men view women with their eyes and women view with their ears, which I think is true.
In Russia they teach English in the schools and they like to speak American there. Not here.

So I am blabbering away, doing shtick, amusing myself and no one else. Olga is starring off into space, to the left of me.
There was no spark, no nuthin.
She didn't understand the word "why". As in why did you come out with me? She didn't understand the word "fun". As in are you having fun?
She did communicate to me that she had been on many dates, but she was unable to tell me her thoughts, etc.
She showed me pictures of her 16 year old daughter which gave me the strength to go on because I am searching for a happy person with no children.
She seemed to personify the misery of the Volga boat song.

She did finally communicate to me that I talked a great deal...and I did. I had given up all hope of this date being a success and I heard some truly funny and profound words pour out of my restless mouth.

I dropped her at ten pm. By then it was silence all around.
I spent including cab fare and tips. $126 US. It's Mickey Dees for the next one.
I learned a lot. I will only date women who can hear a joke on the telephone and laugh in English.

Perhaps I should head to Russia?

Nevertheless undeterred, I'll press on.

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